Divided Choices

My blood, tainted by the filth I abhorred. There I sat, watching as they flow out of my body. Like rivers calmly flowing away. My eyes began to change from black to grey. Barely capable to open them, I was getting weaker as time starts to move even faster. I felt nothing, neither pain nor anger. There was nothing for me left. Years have passed till memories were forgotten. Till I forgotten the feeling of happiness. After all these years, I finally remembered. Smiles of nothingness vanished. Now I am free. Away from my mistakes, away from everything that has been chaining my life from freedom. Kept me locked in unwilling to let me go.

Has it finally come, my demise? If so, then please take me away. I have had enough of everything. Ones I adore will die by my hands. Ones I abhor will be made by my hands. I wish to end it all. My existence imbalances the world. I have no heart to watch them die. The one that gave me hope will perish. I will push her away, keeping danger away.

I am whom you cursed as a monster. I am whom you hate as a criminal. I am whom you condemned as the devil’s significant. But to her, I am nothing more but a lost soul waiting for a savior. Will I be saved when all else has failed? Faces disappeared from me, fearing for the worst and there she was unwilling to leave.

You eyes tell stories only I could understand. You smiles brighten my day even when darkness covers all. For this I wished you would leave. For this I wished you will be safe from me, far way from me. Away from death that wanders around with me. For this I wished to let you go.

Alas, I dare to ask one last question before uncertainty fades away forever. Are you willing to accept me?