Chosen Decision

It was just a dream? Nothing more but fantasies I had desired? Why have it come to this? I see now that it is completely pointless for me to be asking myself all these questions. How can I answer them when I myself am the one who asks? Long have I endured the truth and now I realized I haven’t really accepted it.

How I adore these moments, knowing I am to be freed from everything and yet how I abhorred the facts that pushes me away from civilization. Ones I have faith in could only bring peace to my mind but none can bring forth happiness. Moments victory last only for a day while moments of misery lasts for decades. I can never run from reality. Never could, and never will but why am I still trying to?

Please, I beg of you. Leave me alone. Forget the things that I had said; forget the things I had done. Leave everything lost and never retrieve them. I want no part in anything anymore. What I have shall only be mine, no one else’s. The sight of you angers me. Knowing who you are brought pain and emptiness to my heart because I know what I desired from you could never be attained. I shouldn’t have reached out to you. I shouldn’t have come to you from the beginning. It will only bring pain to me and I hope it doesn’t to you.

A decision has been made by me. A decision that may hunt me, torture my thoughts while trying to make me regret for the rest of my life. Apart from that, I truly believe that it is the right way. So from here I bid my farewell to you.

I’ll pray at night my shadow will disappear. Leaving no traces of myself for you to follow. I wish to fade from you.