Mistaken immortality

all is lost to me. everything is fading away. days of joy emptied by the ways of sufferings. dying by the hands of my own greed. ending the time i wasted on feeding my own life. tearing my eyes, preventing them from crying. killed my emotions to escape from the endless suffering i am to feel.

parting from my body, leaving it to become an empty shell. laid dead without a soul, slowly perish to the ground, becoming the dirt man walks one. the thought of endless time firghtens me, wanting nothing more but to be freed from it. a prison i am bound to be in, forever blinded by the darkness that takes the lights that shines on humans away. suffocate for eternity.

immortality, i had asked for and given to me is forever suffering. what had been done to me is what i asked. forever shall i dwell in this worthless world to endure all that the other side of life has to offer. i have asked to be life and yet i became death. what have i done to deserve this? it is because i am a human who is made to sin?

My Chemical Romance - Helena

long ago
just like the hearse you die to get in again
we are so far from you
burning on just like the match you strike to incinerate
the lives of everyone you know
and what's the worst you take
from every heart you break
and like the blade you stain
well i've been holding on tonight

what's the worst that i can say?
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

came a time when every star falls
brought you to tears again
we are the very hurt you sold
and what's the worst you take
from every heart you break
and like the blade you stain
well i've been holding on tonight

whats the worst that i can say
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight
and if you carry on this way
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

can you hear me?
are you near me?
can we pretend to leave and then
we'll meet again when both our cars collide

what's the worst that i can
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight
and if you carry on this way
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Prisoner to myself

i am my own servant and yet the master to myself. a prisoner holding the keys to locked doors. in a prison i had built for myself as my mind chained onto a wall. every choice i make is against my will, like something else has total control over my entire body, total control over my existance.

my beloved soul taken from me, leaving an empty shell behind dwelled by an unknown being. tiredness is all i've got, forcing myself to live every single day. every breath of air i inhale doesn't seems to be enough. no water could quench my thirst. no food able to satify my hunger. i am like the dead walking among the living, unable to find my resting place, an exiled. i am to be banished from this world and be consigned to the flames.

let my body be burn, my soul condemned and my presence die slowly along with the passing time. let them all walk side by side to a place where nothingness was born. let me be lost and forgotten like a passing memory where the thought of it will only last a day or like a wind that happens to pass by.

whenever someone speaks of my name, let it be in past tense. the sound of it be out of anger or fear. my time be a curse to my neighbour.

emptied my mind

For this moment, there'll be nothing on this blog site. Mmy brain is currently empty, no thoughts are running around in it. so for the time being, just relax and wait. more will be coming this way soon......

ended my dying day

every breath i take is like drinking a glass of poison by my own will. every second that passes by, reminds me of the coming day. my future had been fixed since the day i wa born. every day that passes by are reminders to me. every hour that passes by are signs to me. every minute, every second that passes by are voices to me telling me i am one step closer to death.

it doesn't matter what i do, the thought of dissapearing from life is worse than death itself. what i had done will me nothing to this world. every moment i had cherish will die with me, along with the joy i had felt. nothingness is where i am heading. a dark abyss of emptiness awaits my soul.

what will become of this world when i am gone? will the memories of me be celebrated by people who was known to me? will i be forgotten, or lost within a year of grieving? who am i to care? i'll be nothing more but a rotting corpes confined in a worthless box, buried deep within the ground

i felt myself fading from tearing eyes, away to an endless time. death stood before me, staring straight into my eyes. in blood i cried wanting to let go of my dying pain instead of loosing my beloved soul as it fled from my body and my thoughts died painlessly, disappearing before me.